6 years ago
Monday, August 24, 2009
The little yellow school bus
Summer is over and school has started. But for me, it still feels like summer. I am sad. I am having one of those days where I miss Karissa a little "extra." Sounds silly but I will tell Mark "I miss Karissa extra today." Anyways, I keep seeing all the yellow school buses driving by my house. The regular ones and the short ones. It doesn't bother me to see the regular ones. It is the short buses that make my cry. They remind me of the fact that school has started but I no longer have my Karissa to take to school. No going back to school clothes or shoes. No pictures to remember her first day back at school.
The funny thing is that Karissa never rode the bus. I would have never let her ride the bus either. NEVER! Mark often asks me why I get so sad when I see the little yellow bus. Here is why: when I used to pick up Karissa from school, I would wait in line in the car. There were always 3 or 4 little buses waiting as well. I would get out of the car and walk up to the gate to get Karissa. Walking back to the car, we would always pass the little buses. On a few occasions, Karissa would try to climb up into the bus. I remember one of the bus drivers saying something like "she wants to ride the bus", or "mama, you need to let her ride the bus." I would just smile but what I was really thinking was "heck no!" I even remember the week before Karissa died that the school called to see if Karissa would be riding the bus that year.
So, seeing the little yellow buses all around town are a reminder of what used to be. And that makes me sad.
By the way, these picture were taken on Karissa's first day of school.