Welcome to Holland. Part 2

"And the pain of that loss will never ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss."

This statement from the poem so accurately describes how Mark and I felt when we came to the realization that Karissa would probably never reach many exiting milestones in her life. We did everything we could to help her reach her potential and "catch up." Weekly physical therapy and speech therapy appointments, twice a week occupational therapy as well as weekly home visits with a special education teacher and special day classes.

Coming to terms with the fact that we would never see Karissa jump, or kick a ball, or color or even stack blocks was a loss of a dream. A huge, significant loss. It was hard to take Karissa to the park and to Gymboree, playdates were even hard, not because I was afraid that I would compare her to her peers, but because it only made the loss that much more real. It was truly heart-breaking.

So I started rejoicing in all the wonderful things that she could do. The first time she drank with a straw I cried tears of joy. In fact the whole family rejoiced! I was so proud of the few words she did have and how she would try so hard to communicate using signs. I remember at her last P.T. appointment how happy I was that she had finally mastered a skill that would have been easy for most other 3-year-olds. She made me proud because she accomplished tasks that were so difficult for her. So very proud.

But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland.