Friday, September 11, 2009

9.11.09

I can't believe it has been 8 years since America suffered such a horrible tragedy. I am sad. Every year on this day, I take a moment to reflect and to pray for those that have lost their loved ones. But today I feel a bit different. More emotional.

This morning I was watching the news and a reporter was talking with a mother who lost her daughter on 9/11. The reporter said "well, now that it has been 8 years, I am sure you are doing much, much better." The woman responded by saying something like, "if it was your daughter that died, do you think you would feel much, much better 8 years later?" Beautifully spoken. My response would have probably been the same, however, I would have probably been a little rude and maybe inserted some not so nice words.

But anyways, that struck a chord with me. People say the stupidest and most insensitive things. It is kinda like when people say "time heals all wounds." For me, time will NEVER EVER heal my wound. I will say that I am doing better and time makes it a little easier but I will ALWAYS have a wound. Not a single moment goes by where I do not think of Karissa. My wound will always be there. It might get smaller, but it will always be there.

It is a very emotional day for many Americans, especially those that have lost a loved one. For me, having lost a child, the emotions that so many Americans are especially feeling today, seem much more real to me. I think part of my emotions are due to the fact that those that lost a loved one never got to say a final goodbye. They never got to hold their son or daughter for the last time. No final moments. No closure.

I remember shortly after Karissa died telling Mark that I couldn't even imagine how all the mothers who lost a daughter must have felt on 9/11. I am so thankful for the final moments I had with my daughter after she died. I am so grateful that I got to hold Karissa and kiss her little forehead one final time before saying goodbye.