I recently stumbled across a blog written by a mother who lost one of her twins at 24 weeks of pregnancy. I didn't spend to much time on her blog because, along with losing a child, losing an unborn baby, especially that far into a pregnancy, is another one of my biggest fears.
On her blog, she briefly talked about becoming one of 'those people.' You know the ones I am referring to. Those people... the ones who see, live and experience tragedy firsthand. Those people...the ones who you don't know how they do it, how they go on and wake up every single day after losing a loved one. Those people...the ones you hear about through a friend and hope and pray to God that you will never have to go through what 'those people' have had to go through.
I myself have thought the same thing. I know for certain that you have too. When Karissa was in the hospital at 2 weeks of age, when we knew that she was going to be ok (or so we thought), I remember thinking "I am so glad we are not 'those people.'" Those people being the parents of the children in the pediatric oncology ward. The peds unit, where Karissa was admitted, was next to the peds oncology ward. There were several times where we would walk by the peds oncology unit to get to the peds unit. My heart just broke for the mommies and daddies who, I knew, may lose their child to cancer. For those, unlike me, who may leave the hospital without their precious daughter or son. I remember being so thankful that Karissa was going to be ok and that we wouldn't have to be like those mommies and daddies. I remember thinking that I didn't know what I would do if I lost Karissa. I shuddered at the thought of being in their shoes.
On July 8th, 2008, Mark and I became 'those people.' So many of you have told me that you don't know how I do it. How I get up in the morning and live my life without my daughter. Quite frankly, I don't know how I do it either. I just do.
Becoming one of 'those people' has given me an entirely different perspective on life. It amazes me the things people, mainly parents, complain and whine about. Are you really gonna complain about changing your kids diaper? Really? I don't get it. It makes me so angry and resentful.
Your whole world can be turned upside down in an instant. Life is fragile. I just wish I didn't have to become one of 'those people' to realize just how precious life really is.
5 years ago