Wednesday, May 12, 2010

For those who walk the road of infertility

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother:

There are women that become mothers without
effort, without thought, without patience or loss and
though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money
or that I have read more books but because I have
struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly
have appreciation are those who have struggled to
attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore
and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day
for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake
in the middle of the night to the sound of my child,
knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and
that I am not waking to take another temperature,
pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of
a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has
given me this insight, this special vision with which
I will look upon my child that my friends will not
see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to
or a child that God leads me to, I will not be
careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have
endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better
daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have
known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been
betrayed by
my own body. I have been tried by fire
and hell many
never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded. I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run
from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I
see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can
make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power
of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes
that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth
and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a
compassion that only comes with walking in those
shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

Author Unknown

1 comment:

  1. Hi Adrianne-
    Congrats on TWINS! What a miracle! I am so happy for you and Mark. Thanks for sharing your personal journey. I as well am struggling with infertility. We were told last June that our only chance of conceiving was through IVF w/ICSI! I'm not sure if you knew or not, but we attempted our first IVF cycle last Sept to later find out it was unsuccessful! We were devastated! It's pain you can't describe and to those who are struggling with infertility don't truly understand how painful this is for us. It's a lonely journey. The last 7 months have been hard. Not knowing what are next steps were. We decided that it was time to try again and we will be starting IVF #2 this July and we are excited but very nervous. IVF is a rollercoaster of emotions. You are a brave woman to go through 5 cycles! I have a new blog about my infertility journey: www/in-my-armswithhope.blogpsot.com Check it out. It explains my whole journey. If you ever need to chat, I'm here for you. You and Mark will be in our prayers! You can also email me at: mrscipriano@gmail.com So happy to hear your wonderful story. Hope all is well. Love, Lauren

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